TO INGRID

 

We'll meet again

Don't know where

Don't know when

But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

("We'll Meet Again" - Song by Vera Lynn - 1939)

Dear Ingrid,

Forgive me if it may seem that I have taken longer than you would have thought necessary, but: the past days have been quite exhausting at work and I have not had time to collect myself for a moment to think about my answer and finishing. Also, I wanted to follow up on what you had written to me regarding the fact that perhaps we should have written to each other less, I thought that perhaps it was appropriate to wait until we both metabolised what you had written and perceived.

For your information, my hope of meeting again has not faded away.

I am sorry that now that you have written to me, your feeling has changed, as I was saying this morning, I have had the answer to give you in my head for days and I have been blocked, trying to understand what I wanted to convey, and how. I feel that the message that has leaked out now is that it did not matter enough to me. But that's not it at all. I was just trying to collect my thoughts in a reasoned way to figure out what I wanted to say to you, and how to express my willingness to see you again. All of this require a bit of boldness.

In any case, my reply would have come today anyway regardless of your message. That said. Here we are.

So, I remember that we went together to this squat in Gracia, I think there are a few pics on Facebook, which unfortunately I won’t be able to retrieve. I remember you, Marie and Lucy came first to my place and we did a small gathering in the apartment of Gaia, my blond neighbour from Milan.

I don’t remember what I said, but I bet must have been a quote from a movie from the Nouvelle Vogue. Maybe something like:

So, I remember that we went together to this squat in Gracia, I think there are a few pics on Facebook, which unfortunately I won’t be able to retrieve. I remember you, Marie and Lucy came first to my place and we did a small gathering in the apartment of Gaia, my blond neighbour from Milan.

I don’t remember what I said, but I bet must have been a quote from a movie from the Nouvelle Vogue. Maybe something like:

“You are like an old movie, sentimental and charming.”; or

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”

Both things that I could tell you again today - after we met again.

I do remember though that at a certain point I was sitting on a bench with Frederik and my friend Matteo looking at the sunrise in Barceloneta. Maybe you remember Matteo, it was with me and Max, that night we met at Apolo. It was one of our last nights together and remember that I was a bit sad about everything ending and discussed with Frederik why after we slept together, we never really followed up with that. Do you remember how you felt about it back then?

I was in a relationship at that time, a complicated one, which I made even more complicated due to my recurring infidelity. I was not the most reliable person back then, I was really living like I was some naif character of an old movie. Back then, I was still thinking of leaving law after the graduation and study cinema. Perhaps it is also for this reason that I felt so intimate and happy of seeing you. Like the old me resurfaced, and with him, my dreams…

Talking about French movies, I recently re-watched À bout de souffle, Hiroshima Mon Amour and Jules et Jim. These are among my favourite movies: a reminder that we still have to send each others the list of our favourite books and movies, respectively.

Yesterday Anouk Aimee’ passed away. She starred in La Dolce Vita. So, I decided to re-watch it to celebrate her life, after I don’t even know how many years, and I was thinking again about this message that I still had pending to you and that it would have be nice to meet again in Paris.

Somewhere you like, pretending that the time has not passed, that we can be the old-fashioned characters of a black and white movie, talking genuinely about emotions, sensations, with no shame or regrets, embracing what one would believe is clumsy impulsiveness, while it is the essence of the romantic way of living.

So, for much as crazy that could be, yes, I would love to see you again. Yes, I hope you didn’t change your mind about remaining in touch Yes, I am happy to help you out with your Indian plans.

The following is the message I sent you and which I deleted before landing.

 

25.05.24

Somewhere in the air over Turkey.

Ciao Ingrid,

Sorry for my late reply and, most and foremost, sorry for being about to send you what you may feel is just a complete nonsense.

I've slept a little lately, met a lot of old friends, and being literally on a "tourbillon" of emotions. All enhanced by the use of a few... enhancers.

I am on a flight to Istanbul and, after an intense week, I was trying to catch up with some correspondence, and you were on top of my list.

I am not known for my calligraphy, and there are constant - I promise, this is not a hyperbole - turbulences, so probably you won't be able to decipher the attachments, but I trust in your Egyptian genes to interpretate my hieroglyphics.

PS: we said that we would have reciprocate a list of movies and books to suggest to each others.

Curious to see your book list.

PS2: Btw, please don't think I am crazy, I have been a writer since I was 8, and being my only talent and being completely aware and having accepted, shamelessly - i.e. embraced - my slightly romantic whatever that is... well... I just let this side shipping me through a stream of consciousness, which I may not fully recall later.

God knows what triggered me that day, but definitely nostalgia, I reckon, is personally the most inspiring feeling.

Now that I reflect on it, perhaps that's why I have been living in a short time in so many different places, to chase stories and keep the inspiration alive.

- nonsense monologue over -

Greetings from 8k above see level, half bottle of whiskey and a few good memories.