LETTER TO LUCY N.4

We'll never know if it was because of my boldness in sitting next to you that night at P96,

or the lady who blocked the stairs at Westermarkt to buy my table for her niece, giving me the chance to intercept you while you were going back to get your bike the next morning,

or your wildness in showing up at Mercante in Venice on Christmas Day over two years ago,

or the way we fell in love—because we did, and we cared for each other for some time—

and then, in a moment of mutual, violent compassion and empathy, we blocked and repelled each other, desperately, to allow ourselves to move forward with our respective futures.

Wherever the truth lies, despite the time and distance between us, we’ve both, inexorably, continued to think of one another—in a respectful, though painful, silence...

A silence of nearly a year and a half, except for a brief exchange last summer that led me to create an even greater barrier between us by changing my number. And yet…

here we are.

As if we’ve been having endless inner monologues about an intangible, impossible desire.

Thank you for deciding to break the silence and write me that e-mail ten days ago.

Now, I know that you have always being feeling the same.

Who knows if we would have ever seen each other again in this life otherwise.

Thank you